Terminus Feels

[Firefly]

So this happened in my brain after JB told me that Val might die at some point in Terminus. Note this is probably "non-canon" mostly cause the only thing I control in this RP is Wyn. So if anything is off or out of character, I'm sorry.

Dear Val,

I’ll cut to the chase: this letter was my mama’s idea. I was thinking about you and it ended with me crying in Mama’s lap, and her stroking me and telling me, “everything will be okay”. Her being the psychologist she is, told me a good way to let go of my feelings is to put them in some sort of tangible form, to get them out. So that’s why I’m writing a letter to a fucking dead man.

Goddamnit Val, there are so many things I wish I could tell you about. For one thing I have a planet now. Commander Shepard and Tali’Zorah got us Rannoch back. We’ve had it for a year now. Val, I can’t even describe how much I love the homeworld. We visited so many beautiful places when we were on the Balrog, but Rannoch is the most beautiful planet there is. Mostly because its mine. This is the land of my ancestors, the land I thought I would never see. And yet I’m here. I’m with my parents again, and we have a house, a fucking house! It’s pretty small, barely enough room for the three of us, but it’s ours. It’s been a whole year, but I still can’t believe this is real. I feel like I’m in a dream, and I’m going to wake up any moment, to you announcing some bullshit on the Balrog intercom.

You’re probably wondering; what about the Geth? Yeah, they’re our friends now. Shepard fucking brokered peace with them. I have no idea how, but he did. I went from sniping Geth to well… not sniping Geth. I mean I don’t really have any Geth “friends” per say, but they’re around, helping us recolonize. They’re nice enough… I guess. It’s just strange. I grew up hearing about these monsters who’d kill me, and now I’m just walking past them on the street and the just nod at me and acknowledge me. It’s fucking weird, and I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it. But we wouldn’t be where we are right now with restoring Rannoch, without them. They’re even helping us learn to adjust to living without the suits. It’ll be awhile before I can live without it completely, but I can take it off for short times. I now know what my parents look like. I look just like my papa, though that smile of mine that you love so much, is from my mama. But she’s much prettier than me. They both have black hair though, so where the fuck did my red hair come from? I dunno.

But yeah things are still pretty weird here. We Quarians have a lot to do. We had zero economy on the Flotilla, and now we have to start building one. Our whole society was dedicated to living on a ship, and now we need to rebuild it. But we can do it, we’ve had to rebuild our society before when we first left the homeworld. The Quarians are strong people and we can handle it. We’ve received a bit of galactic support, most worlds are busy cleaning up the mess the Reapers left, but we’ve still gotten support. I like to think they’re doing it out of the goodness of their hearts, but I know the real reason. They just wanna make sure we have a place to live that’s our territory and not there’s. Fuck them. So it’s a pretty weird time filled with lots of change. My parents are “busy bees” as the humans say, working long shifts at the new hospital. As for me, I really don’t have a steady job, I mostly do odd jobs and volunteering to fix things up. I still don’t know what I want to do with my life, luckily my parents are okay with letting me stay with them until I do.

I’ve only left Rannoch a few times since the war ended. Pretty much every time was to visit my goddaughter. Yup, I have a goddaughter. And the baby is Kryseis’ and Elam’s. They had a little “accident” if you will. They named her Valyria. Elam swears to God, that it being like your name is a complete coincidence. I’m not sure if he’s telling the truth. It won’t be too long till she turns a year old, and since she’s an Asari, it’s like the equivalent of being like 3 months old. She can’t even sit up. But she is so adorable, Val. You should see how Elam dotes on her. Valyria means so much to him and he says he’ll always be there for her, even if she dumps someone out an airlock like he did. Kryseis… well she was kinda PO’d since she’s still in her Maiden stage, and she had to miss out on fighting for Thessia because of her pregnancy. But she loves Valyria, and she’s a good mom. I’m really good with the baby, and when I’m with her, I kinda want one of my own. Not right now, I have no way of supporting a child, but I still kind of wonder how things could of gone.

I mean I know it’s stupid, but I wonder if we could of made a life together on Rannoch. I mean it’s pretty far away from all the enemies you accumulated, and most Quarians don’t even know who you are. I mean we could have had a kid….you know through a sperm donor obviously. But at the same time, I know you were probably too far gone down the path you chose to get out of it. I could get out, Elam could, Krys could, but you were in way too deep. You could of never had a normal life.

I really wish I could talk to you again. I want to tell you so much. I wish you could actually read this. Mostly I want you to know I’m not that little street rat you found all those years ago. I’m not the immature girl who cussed too much and cried over men. I’ve matured so much, and a lot of it came from you, from us. If it weren’t for you Val, I wouldn’t even be alive. You were easily the most influential person in my life, and I honestly can’t believe you’re gone. That I live in a galaxy without a Val Caligulus. It feels a lot more empty without one.
Love,
Wyn

[Firefly]

Um... I don't know what this is. Like don't even ask me cause I don't know. I've never written anything like this before, and probably never will again.

JB, please forgive any OOCness

“Aw fuck…”

Wyn had never felt so cold in her life. As she stepped out of the shower, her arms immediately crossed around her chest to try to conserve warmth and her teeth began to chatter. She started punching buttons on her Omnitool to activate the heating mechanism… only to remember that the Omnitool was the only thing she was wearing

She looked longingly at her suit that was neatly and safely tucked away in a corner of the bathroom, her helmet sitting on top of it, staring at her. As annoying as it could be sometimes, the suit was always reliable for temperature control. Wyn remembered going to Noveria for a mission and everyone complaining about the cold and she felt just fine.

She got a towel and began to dry herself with it. As she ground it in her hair, she looked around at the bathroom. She couldn’t get over how nice the bathroom was in the Captain’s Quarter. The crew bathrooms were decent, but extremely utilitarian, and the ones in the Flotilla were the same way. But this bathroom… the best way to describe it was…shiny. From the glossy tile floor (which Wyn found herself rubbing her wet feet over and over on and giggling over the squeak it made. She was easily amused) The countertops were a nice shiny marble, and the knobs on the fixtures were a shiny brass. It might seem like an overkill of the word, but that was the only word Wyn could think of to describe it. She felt awful marring it with her fingerprints and the water dripping from her.

She really doubted the Captain cleaned it himself. Someone in the crew probably did . She snorted with laughter at the sudden thought of Elam on his hands and knees, scrubbing the bathroom with a toothbrush. She had never pegged the Captain as a clean freak, but there was a lot of stuff she didn’t know about him.

And she was about to have sex with him.
\
She suddenly became aware of the smell of Krogan cigars wafting through the crack of the bathroom door. Val was waiting for her.

She had already taken a ridiculous amount of time showering , trying to get every piece of hair that wasn’t on her head, off of her. Kryseis had told her it was a good idea, saying that the most attractive human women shave. Wyn was going by human beauty standards, she was pretty much physically a purple human with three fingers anyway. And Val liked human things… Though because she had botched the job very badly, she was now covered in cuts that she was healing over with her Omnitool. Yeah thanks Kryseis, he’ll find that real sexy… She hated wasting Medigel on shaving cuts, but they wouldn’t stop bleeding, and as she crudely put it in her head, I’m going to be bleeding enough as it is.

She rubbed the mirror with her hand and rubbed the steam away, revealing her reflection. She focused her attention on the limp wet mop of red curls she called her hair. It had been cut fairly short for her Pilgrimage, but she was surprised how long it got over the past 4 years, nearly reaching her waist. And it became even longer as she worked her Omni-tool through it, with a hair drying application she downloaded just for the occasion. It zapped the moisture out, leaving a frizzy mess of curls.

“Oh Keelah,” she said pulling at her hair disdainfully. She was the exact opposite of human beauty standards, all the research she did pointed to straight hair or very light curls preferably in a brunette or blonde color as being the most attractive. And she didn’t even want to think about her body shape, she was trying her hardest as it was not to look down at her breasts… or lack of them.

She looked. Fuck! She positioned her hair over them feeling extremely self-conscious.

“Okay calm down, Wyn,” she told herself, “ You’re going to be okay. You’re on a shitload of immunoboosters, you’re not gonna die. You did your research…” Oh did she ever. She had never realized how common Turian/Quarian pairings were, probably one of the most common cross species relationships. It must be the dextro thing she thought. She had found several extranet groups dedicated to those in these pairings… and she’d learned many things about Turians. And many things that she hadn’t known about her own body. And many things she’d bleach from her brain if she could.

“But… ugh. What if he’s a snide bastard to me? What if he laughs at me…” She couldn’t believe how childish she sounded, it reminded her of her friends back on the Qwib Qwib worrying about the boys they liked, who were usually assholes.. When she was sixteen she had just rolled her eyes over it, but now at twenty-four she was having the same feeling.

“Miss Qwib Qwib…” the snide bastard himself said through the door, “Are you… talking to yourself?”

Wyn frowned, “What if I am?”

“Miss Qwib Qwib you’ve been in there for quite awhile. Are you having second thoughts?”
Wyn couldn’t tell if he was mocking her or was genuinely asking the question.

She took a deep breath and opened the door.

Cigar smoke filled the air, and Wyn coughed, and pressed some buttons on her Omni-tool.

The following operation could not be performed: OLFACTORYVENTOff

Oh yeah. Naked, no olfactory vents.

In front of her stood Val, wearing a robe and fiddling with a cigar in his hand. She self-conciously crossed her arms around her chest as Val’s gaze looked her over head to toe.

“ Miss Qwib Qwib, if I didn’t know better, and by that I mean have exact copies of your birth records, I’d think you’d been lying to me about your age the whole time.”

She blushed. Quarians didn’t usually have very noticeable blushes, but Wyn’s hair made it so the red tint stood out very easily, “Is that a problem?”

“No it isn’t. Just an observation,” he got closer to her, and Wyn cringed as she felt his talons comb through her hair. She had never been physically touched by anyone since she was a child.

“I didn’t know Quarians could have red hair,” he mused, “The ones I’ve been with before had dark hair. “

“Before? I’m not the first.”

“I’ve heard dancers are very respected among Quarians. After spending a couple of nights with some, I can see why. But you’re the first I haven’t had to pay for.”

“…Okay um… yeah it’s a recessive gene that showed up when our gene pool was lowered and-OW! CAPTAIN STOP!” Val’s talons had gotten stuck in Wyn’s tangled mess of a hair and he was trying to pull it out. She shrieked as he finally got free, pulling out a chunk of her hair with him.

He flung the red clump off his hand in disgust, “Well that’s a first… Miss Qwib Qwib you seem tense…”

“Gee I don’t know Captain, maybe its because I’ve never been naked in front of someone before, especially someone like you who’s so judgemental and…”

“Miss Qwib Qwib do you really think I’m judging you?” Val asked amused, “There’s nothing to judge. Your body is the accident of genetics. Some win the genetic lottery, some lose it.”
“Let me guess you won it?”

“How about you decide for yourself?”

Wyn didn’t think she could blush any harder, but she managed to do so as he unfastened his robe. She almost forgot in all her angst about exposing herself to both the elements and Val, that she forgot he was going to do the same for her.

“Uh… I’m not sure what to look for. I’ve only know the biology of my own people…but uh…” she looked down, “Captain what’s that?”

“…Miss Qwib Qwib I didn’t realize you were that naïve.”

Wyn scowled at him,“…Your hip, Captain. On your hip,”


His hand quickly covered the spot in question, “Just a birthmark. Its rude to comment on things like this. For example I as quite tempted to say that your body shape makes me feel like I'm in a certain Nabokov novel right now, but I refrained from saying so.”

“…What?”

“Oh yes, I forgot that would go over your head. Forgive me,”

Wyn snorted with bemusement. She looked up at him, extremely puzzled, trying to figure something out.

She jumped up and caught onto his shoulders, nearly knocking him down, “Miss Qwi-“

She put her lips against his. Kissing a Turian was just as weird as the extranet sites said it’d be.

When she let go, Val looked at her bewildered, and she said awkwardly, “…Was I not supposed to do that? Like doing it as a surprise?”

He repositioned her in his arms, so that she was supported better,“You watch too many of those childish movies, Miss Qwib Qwib, I know because I monitor your purchases. Next time we’re together , I’ll show you some real movies.”

“Next time?”

“…Miss Qwib Qwib, you are making it very hard for me to keep a professional relationship with you.”

“Look at all the fucks I give.”

“I’d like one of those…” he set her down on the bed, “Forgive me, that was an awful pun. It just slipped out. Happens to even the best of us,”

Wyn giggled, “So now what, Captain?”

He flashed his predator grin,“….You still have your Omnitool attached yes?”