Post by Penny on Jul 31, 2012 17:19:42 GMT -5
“So… what am I playing again?” I asked, confused as I sat there with my usual ring of five best friends. We were playing (and this was my first time) a little something called ‘Dungeons and Dragons’, a tabletop RPG game.
Yknow, because somehow there are people who don’t know what that is.
“You’re a Halfling Bard,” Al sighed. He was the GM today- for the simple fact that it was at his house and he was king of that castle. Otherwise, we’d probably all be submitting to Per, who was older than all of us by fifteen years- twice Al’s age as the youngest. Still, I think we all agreed that this was far better.
…Even if I was getting onto everybody’s nerves as the one who didn’t know what they were doing.
“Okay, now,” Meka was attempting to coach JB. He wasn’t very good with dice rolls but was at least staying with everything else. “Roll one d20… yeah, you’ve got it… and… you bash the orc’s head in. Good job!”
“Okay. So… that’s the one we use for combat? And that’s 20 sides?”
“Yeah.”
“Why do we use a 20 sided die and not d10 or a d100?” MGG asked, snuggling up slightly in the panda throw blanket he’d brought.
“Hm?” This was Per, looking up from his canteen. I always wondered what was in it but never asked. “On one hand the d20 system is simply carried over from previous generations. D20 is also much easier to use then d100, and gives more variation than a d10 does. After all, we wouldn’t want to try to find what number you landed on after it rolls off the table, now, would we?”
“…That’s a good point.” Meka replied, looking off into space for a moment.
“Anyways. Halfling Bard. It’s your turn. An orc blocks your path.”
“I go for the knees!” I cried. “Slash his shins!”
“…Penny, it doesn’t work like that. Roll d20 to see if it connects. Even though you’ve got fists and a harp…”
“Hey, harp strings can hurt…”
But oh well. I grabbed the d20 from off the table, shaking it in my hands for a good three seconds before letting it fly.
An impossibly bright light flashed before us all, covering the whole basement we were inside of in pure, ethereal white. A gentle rumbling came across everything, like an earthquake, shaking the basement thoroughly. As the light faded I heard a huge boom in the distance, and as I came back to Earth, I heard a voice ask, “Is everyone okay?”
It was MGG, looking around concerned. Per’s mug had spilled its contents over the floor and his pants, JB’s chair had tipped over, Al was scrounging around for the die and Meka had his head on the table, freaking out.
“I can’t see anything!” he shouted.
“Well at least my coffee was cool…” Per sighed.
I went over to Meka, placing my hand on the back of his head.
“Gah! What are you doing?!” He asked, flailing a bit.
“Close your eyes,” I told him, a pulled his head up, taking off his glasses. I bit my lip and looked to Al.
“Allywally?”
“…What do you want me to do, Pend?” He asked, slightly confused and exasperated, still searching for his die.
“I’m too scared! Can you look at Meka’s eyes for me?” I was keeping my own eyes shut tight, afraid Meka would open his eyes and I’d see something gross. Al finally got up and came over, nudging me out of the way and leaning next to his buddy.
“Okay, open your eyes.” There was silence for a few moments. “…Uh, Pen? What am I looking for?”
“Do his eyes look different at all?”
“Yeah… a bit lazy and stuff… droopy?”
“Okay.” I breathed then, turning back around to see Per… measuring, I supposed, Meka’s head.
“…Why are you touching my head?”
“Inspecting you for alien probes. No, I’m trying to figure out how big it is.”
“…Why?”
“Because,” I chorused in, understanding a little bit now. “JB, can you do us a big favor?”
“Sure. What?”
“Can you go and tear off a big strip of that curtain?” Per asked. “We need to keep his eyes protected.” He gave a small chuckle. “Perhaps this will teach you not to roll dice, Penpen, as obviously you can cause hell to break loose…”
“It wasn’t my fault…” I pouted.
“What even happened?” JB asked, handing the curtain to Per, who began to tie it.
“Did the sun drop?” MGG asked dreamily.
“Well, SOMETHING dropped.” Al said, getting back down to grab the die. “And not just this die.”
“I think we just got bombed.” I said, a bit too happily.
“…Why do you always come to that immediate conclusion?”
“Because I like trying to survive!”
“I think it goes without saying that this calls for pantsless time.” Per said, motioning to the coffee stains on his pants.
“I’m so glad I have a blindfold on right now.” Meka said.
A week had passed. During that time the power cut off, but no further explosions happened. We stayed in the basement, going upstairs only to grab more snacks and things that we didn’t have downstairs in the basement. It was a surprisingly good life down in a basement after bombs being dropped. I hadn’t expected it, that’s for sure. So far as we could tell, radiation wasn’t coming on too strong out here, so we were pretty damn safe.
Well, except for the fact that we had no clean laundry at all. Which was causing most of us to go crazy. Per had, after all, been without pants for this whole time, and the rest of us were gradually losing articles of clothing as well. But most of all Al was getting a bit pissed because his light-up d20 had come in to the shop before all this happened and he hadn’t gotten it, and the new d20 was busted after several ‘Go Big or Go Home’ campaigns in a row.
It was now, a full week later, that Al finally stood up on top of his table, shaking a part of a bed frame down at all of us doing… well, nothing, and said, exasperatedly and as hammily as possible, “WE NEED TO GO.”
“…Huh?”
“WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE. No, seriously though, guys. We need clothes. And I need my goddamned light-up d20 since you fucks broke the last one.”
“Yeah, sure… how?”
“We go to the city VIA THE WOODS!” The hamminess was unbearable. I started up a miniature round of applause- genuine but still rather funny.
“Do you even know the way?”
“Uh… I have a map…”
“Well…” Meka sighed. “I guess that’s close enough. Adventure time?”
“Lumpy Space Princess!”
Yknow, because somehow there are people who don’t know what that is.
“You’re a Halfling Bard,” Al sighed. He was the GM today- for the simple fact that it was at his house and he was king of that castle. Otherwise, we’d probably all be submitting to Per, who was older than all of us by fifteen years- twice Al’s age as the youngest. Still, I think we all agreed that this was far better.
…Even if I was getting onto everybody’s nerves as the one who didn’t know what they were doing.
“Okay, now,” Meka was attempting to coach JB. He wasn’t very good with dice rolls but was at least staying with everything else. “Roll one d20… yeah, you’ve got it… and… you bash the orc’s head in. Good job!”
“Okay. So… that’s the one we use for combat? And that’s 20 sides?”
“Yeah.”
“Why do we use a 20 sided die and not d10 or a d100?” MGG asked, snuggling up slightly in the panda throw blanket he’d brought.
“Hm?” This was Per, looking up from his canteen. I always wondered what was in it but never asked. “On one hand the d20 system is simply carried over from previous generations. D20 is also much easier to use then d100, and gives more variation than a d10 does. After all, we wouldn’t want to try to find what number you landed on after it rolls off the table, now, would we?”
“…That’s a good point.” Meka replied, looking off into space for a moment.
“Anyways. Halfling Bard. It’s your turn. An orc blocks your path.”
“I go for the knees!” I cried. “Slash his shins!”
“…Penny, it doesn’t work like that. Roll d20 to see if it connects. Even though you’ve got fists and a harp…”
“Hey, harp strings can hurt…”
But oh well. I grabbed the d20 from off the table, shaking it in my hands for a good three seconds before letting it fly.
An impossibly bright light flashed before us all, covering the whole basement we were inside of in pure, ethereal white. A gentle rumbling came across everything, like an earthquake, shaking the basement thoroughly. As the light faded I heard a huge boom in the distance, and as I came back to Earth, I heard a voice ask, “Is everyone okay?”
It was MGG, looking around concerned. Per’s mug had spilled its contents over the floor and his pants, JB’s chair had tipped over, Al was scrounging around for the die and Meka had his head on the table, freaking out.
“I can’t see anything!” he shouted.
“Well at least my coffee was cool…” Per sighed.
I went over to Meka, placing my hand on the back of his head.
“Gah! What are you doing?!” He asked, flailing a bit.
“Close your eyes,” I told him, a pulled his head up, taking off his glasses. I bit my lip and looked to Al.
“Allywally?”
“…What do you want me to do, Pend?” He asked, slightly confused and exasperated, still searching for his die.
“I’m too scared! Can you look at Meka’s eyes for me?” I was keeping my own eyes shut tight, afraid Meka would open his eyes and I’d see something gross. Al finally got up and came over, nudging me out of the way and leaning next to his buddy.
“Okay, open your eyes.” There was silence for a few moments. “…Uh, Pen? What am I looking for?”
“Do his eyes look different at all?”
“Yeah… a bit lazy and stuff… droopy?”
“Okay.” I breathed then, turning back around to see Per… measuring, I supposed, Meka’s head.
“…Why are you touching my head?”
“Inspecting you for alien probes. No, I’m trying to figure out how big it is.”
“…Why?”
“Because,” I chorused in, understanding a little bit now. “JB, can you do us a big favor?”
“Sure. What?”
“Can you go and tear off a big strip of that curtain?” Per asked. “We need to keep his eyes protected.” He gave a small chuckle. “Perhaps this will teach you not to roll dice, Penpen, as obviously you can cause hell to break loose…”
“It wasn’t my fault…” I pouted.
“What even happened?” JB asked, handing the curtain to Per, who began to tie it.
“Did the sun drop?” MGG asked dreamily.
“Well, SOMETHING dropped.” Al said, getting back down to grab the die. “And not just this die.”
“I think we just got bombed.” I said, a bit too happily.
“…Why do you always come to that immediate conclusion?”
“Because I like trying to survive!”
“I think it goes without saying that this calls for pantsless time.” Per said, motioning to the coffee stains on his pants.
“I’m so glad I have a blindfold on right now.” Meka said.
A week had passed. During that time the power cut off, but no further explosions happened. We stayed in the basement, going upstairs only to grab more snacks and things that we didn’t have downstairs in the basement. It was a surprisingly good life down in a basement after bombs being dropped. I hadn’t expected it, that’s for sure. So far as we could tell, radiation wasn’t coming on too strong out here, so we were pretty damn safe.
Well, except for the fact that we had no clean laundry at all. Which was causing most of us to go crazy. Per had, after all, been without pants for this whole time, and the rest of us were gradually losing articles of clothing as well. But most of all Al was getting a bit pissed because his light-up d20 had come in to the shop before all this happened and he hadn’t gotten it, and the new d20 was busted after several ‘Go Big or Go Home’ campaigns in a row.
It was now, a full week later, that Al finally stood up on top of his table, shaking a part of a bed frame down at all of us doing… well, nothing, and said, exasperatedly and as hammily as possible, “WE NEED TO GO.”
“…Huh?”
“WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE. No, seriously though, guys. We need clothes. And I need my goddamned light-up d20 since you fucks broke the last one.”
“Yeah, sure… how?”
“We go to the city VIA THE WOODS!” The hamminess was unbearable. I started up a miniature round of applause- genuine but still rather funny.
“Do you even know the way?”
“Uh… I have a map…”
“Well…” Meka sighed. “I guess that’s close enough. Adventure time?”
“Lumpy Space Princess!”
