Post by Alastor on Jun 21, 2013 0:54:26 GMT -5
I'm so sorry.
So, so sorry.
Seriously, don't fucking read this.
You have better ways to spend your time. Unless you want to see why I ignore everything I wrote before RFF. It goes after midnight and you'll never see it again.
So, so sorry.
Seriously, don't fucking read this.
You have better ways to spend your time. Unless you want to see why I ignore everything I wrote before RFF. It goes after midnight and you'll never see it again.
New York, 2015
A man typed at the keyboard of a computer at fast speeds in a dark room the lone view of the city behind him in the moon light, a boot screen coming up on the monitor.
WELCOME TO NERV’S HOME SEVER. PASSWORD PLEASE? The Automated MAGI Welcoming system greeted, as the man typed a password at the screen.
PASSWORD: CORRECT. WELCOME USER NUMBER 241141201519
Loading file… SEELE Meeting 6/7/99…
File loaded. Releasing SEELE Meeting 6/17/99.
The lone white background of the page had filled the room with light, as such the man smiled at the information found in the data logs.
“So that’s how they did it…”
Chapter One: Arrival of the Third Child
Shinji Ikari stood on the outskirts of Tokyo-2, sighing as he looked around. He just called the number his ride, a rather buxom woman named Misato, had left with him on the photo she sent only to get a disconnection noise on the payphone. Same city he grew up in with his father and cousin and, at one short point in his fifteen year life, his mother- or close enough anyway, what with Second Impact destroying the first Tokyo when he was one and then the past two replacements being destroyed. He blamed Godzilla. The sky has never seemed so… lifeless. The streets barren, not even a mouse. Sure the city was in ruins, but it made such a great tourist attraction.
‘Why?’ He asked himself, ‘Why the hell is this place so damn dead? Did zombies attack? Did I-’
Tank fire and the stomping of a giant, not too far off either. If Shinji wasn’t sent away last year to live with his Aunt and Uncle- hell if he weren’t an Ikari- he would have dropped into the fetal position. But his father was Gendo Ikari and mother Yui Ikari, so he’s damn sure he’s either a loon of a scientist or he’s going to be a badass with a chainsaw for hand. Could be both. Another noise, this time a the sound of a car swerving close by, closely followed by said car nearly flattening him, as two familiar faces opened the windows. One a purpled haired woman in a black dress uniform with the NERV emblem on the shoulder, the woman from the photo Misato, the other a blue haired teenage girl about a half-a-year older in a sailor fuku school uniform. And, for some bizarre reason, both wearing sunglasses.
Oh. Oh crap. It’s her.
“Cousin Shinji~!” the blue haired girl chirped as she tried to tackle hug him only to be restrained by the seatbelt, “It’s been liiiiiiiike forever!”
“H-hi, Rei.” He stuttered she was horrifyingly smart and followed the Great Rokobungi-Ikari-Ayanami Clan tradition: mad science. Shortly after exchanging greetings and getting in the car, he turned to Misato, who was focusing on getting as close to NERV HQ as possible with out breaking things such as ‘gravity’ and ‘the laws of physics’, “Miss Kisaragi? What’s going on? Why has Dad summoned me? And why is Rei allowed thirty feet around an Energon-Powered Honda while wearing sunglasses?!”
“First, call me Misato,” she replied happily as the car passed through the tunnel leading to the last highway to Tokyo-3, “Second, you know that stomping sound you heard?”
“Y-yeah.”
“Well, it-“
“IT’S A GIANT MONSTER CALLED AN ANGEL THAT WANTS TO EAT US! IT’S ALL LIKE ‘RAWR’ AND STUFF!” Rei interrupted, again energetic as humanly possible, if not more so.
“Riiiiight. Like Rei said.” Misato continued, “You see, there’s a way to fight these Angels is a giant mechanic fighter, The Himmslich Krieger! The Eva-“ She wasn’t paying attention to the road. As such, she hit a small tire break on her NERV-brand parking space, causing everyone to fall forward, except Rei, who ducked and rolled out of the car. This is par for Rei. Soon after Shinji and Misato fist fought the Airbag-Most-Foul to get out the car, now attempting to follow Rei into the Geofront. For the sake of the sanity of the readers, I shan’t reveal the events beyond the fact NERV now needs three new elevators and that air vents are now a force to be reckoned with.
“Hot damn…” Misato muttered as she sat down on the steps to the last escalator to the last hallway, Rei already being in the upcoming room with Ritsuko, “That girl is fast, isn’t she?”
Shinji took a sip of the bottle of NERV-brand water he got from a vending machine, “Yeah... You get used to it. You should’ve seen her back when we were in grade school.”
“…S-she was worse?!” Misato replied, the sound of shock and horror in her voice. She stood up as soon as she noticed the stairs feeding into the hallway.
“So that’s why the Commander is so... eccentric… “ a woman replied to Rei in a not so far off room.
“It’s always having a mad scientist older sister isn’t it?” Rei said as Misato showed Shinji into the dimly lit room.
The woman turned to the duo showing a blonde haired head with a towel hanging over her shoulders, “So that’s the Commander’s son and the new pilot, eh?” she asked Misato.
“That’d be the one, Ritsky!” Misato chirped in reply, “Shinji, this is the head of NERV’s Science division: Doctor Ritsuko Akagi.”
“Hello.” Shinji told the woman, still rather shy. “Why did my father summon me again? Something about some Himmslich Krieger, whatever the hell that means?”
At hearing the words Himmslich Krieger, Ritsuko elbowed Misato before whispering something too low for Shinji to hear.
“I think I can answer that, Shinji.” A voice replied as the lights brightened, revealing the towering head of a purple-and-green horned giant staring at Shinji.
“OHMYGODWHATTHEHELLISTHAT?!” Shinji yelled as he jumped back in fear, landing on his back. Rei and the others by now were used to that, barely concealing laughter.
“That,” the voice replied, “is the Himmslich Krieger Evangelion. Unit 01, to be exact. We want you to pilot it.”
“WHY?! AND JUST WHO ARE YOU!?”
The voiced sighed, stepping forward into the light to reveal himself as Deputy Commander Kozo Fuyutsuki, “I thought you would have recognized your godfather’s voice… But that is not the point.” He mumbled to himself before continuing his speech, “You’re the only one who can fight the Angel.”
“B-but I can’t! And where’s my father?!”
“He’s currently working on fixi-“ Kozo started, only to interrupted and ducking when he heard the sound of glass breaking behind him. A steel claw on a rope hung itself around a Super Alloy Z pipe from the window and man in white lab coat flew by holding on to the rope, landing on the shoulder of the Evangelion.
“ANOTHER TRIUMPH FOR SCIENCE!” the man yelled, striking his fist in the air as the light shun on his sunglasses. Rei clapped at the dynamic entrance.
“…Dad? What’s going on?! Why did you take so long!?” Shinji asked, shocked.
“Son!” Gendo replied, “I heard you were chosen to pilot the giant robot so I came to see you start!“
“…What?!” Shinji replied.
“Son, you see at your age you might be noticing that you have... feelings for the opposite sex.” Gendo explained, inducing chuckles from all but Fuyutsuki, who merely sighed, “and nothing impresses them more then Super-Toast! They also dig giant robots!”
Shinji thought to himself for a moment, rubbing his chin. Does he pilot the giant robot and therefore gets attention from women? Or does he flee for the safety of his own skin? Chicks… Safety… You could see his dilemma.
“I’m in.”
A short five minutes passed as Shinji was lifted into the Entry Plugs’ piloting seat after his father returned to his normal sitting area from the smokestack, having large amounts of techno-babble told to him by Doctor Akagi and was asked by her to put in these strange hair pieces before it was followed by more techno-babble, which he continued to zone out on.
“Okay,” Shinji announced as he looked around the interior of the Entry Plug, before an orange liquid filled the area causing Shinji to panic and hold his breath.
“Relax,” Ritsuko said as a small window on the center screen of the Entry Plug appeared in front of his eyes, “LCL is oxidized. You won’t drown.”
As soon as he heard ‘won’t’ and ‘drown’, Shinji released a large gasp of air. After he caught his breath, he tasted the fluid as the Eva launched from the Geofront into Tokyo-3.
“…Why does it taste like Tang?”
Rei shouted over Ritsuko’s shoulder, “Sorry about that.
“Angel is approaching!” a woman’s voiced shouted over both his cousin and the doctor.
“Approximate time of arrival to Tokyo-3 is ten minutes!” a male continued.
“You got that, kid? Try walking but don’t move your legs.” Ritsuko asked, pushing Rei away from the screen.
“Yes, ma’am.” Shinji replied, willing the mechanical giant’s leg to move forward. …only for it to fall on its face. Today isn’t the kid’s day.
Moaning briefly in pain do to this ‘synch rate’ that Ritsuko talked about, Shinji both willed the Evangelion to get up, which it did, and learned what the sync-rate was. He saw the Angel walk before the mecha, its inky black form housing a red ball in its torso in a horrible parody of the human form with thin, long, clawed arms and two bird masks as its face.
Gendo saw the Angel on the Geofront’s large screen, standing up from his desk’s chair.
“This is now to be called Sachel, the Fourth Angel! Himmslich Krieger Evangelion… MOVE OUT!”
Sachiel turns to notice the Eva, as if to say hello. Shinji prepped himself for the battle that was about to begin, slightly flinching.
Sachiel walked at a fast pace, tackling the mecha. In response, the Evangelion punched the Angel in the cracked mask. Reacting after a brief shock, the creature grabbed Unit 01’s arm, slapping the mechanic titan with it’s own arm before throwing the mecha over it’s shoulder to which the mech landed on it’s back.
“Damn it!” Shinji yelled, as the power cord to the mech dislodged from its back from impact and a timer counting down from five minutes popped up on screen. The Eva climbed back up, undeterred, and ran towards the Angel before jumping up in the air to dropkick it. Dodging just enough for 01 to miss its core, but not enough to have its left shoulder to be smashed, Sachiel grabbed the other leg of it’s counterpart, only to meet a punch to the shins. Dropping 01, Sachiel tackled the mecha again this time with its two three point claws pinning the mecha’s arms down as it kicked it in the stomach.
3 minutes left.
Shinji grunted, feeling the pain. “Ouch.”
He willed the Evangelion to head butt the Angel in the un-cracked face, which triggered Sachiel to stumble a moment, and then the Angel he kneed with the Eva’s kneeguard in the lower torso. Fazed, Sachiel rolled onto its back, seeing the Evangelion stomping on its core before exploding into a blue liquid the covered the city. Shinji thought to himself, If LCL tastes like Tang, does that taste like Kool-Aid? This was shortly before he passed out.
---Geofront---
The Evangelion was retrieved from the city, with Shinji placed in a hospital bed as soon as he was retrieved for rest, covered in the liquid as multiple teams were trying to clean it, replace the broken parts, and most importantly, to repair it’s chipped paint, lest they loose nametag rights.
---Office of Dr. Ritsuko Akagi---
“Incredible!” Ritsuko thought out loud while reading paperwork from Shinji’s battle, as her assistant Maya walked in with two cans of coffee.
“What is it?” she asked the doctor.
Ritsuko gave her assistant the papers as she grabbed a can of coffee, “Look at his Sync-rate, it’s pretty high even without a Plug Suit.” She said, as Maya thumbed though the papers.
Ch. 2 (As finished as I copy as I have, I purged the back up and the fanfiction account I used)
The mechanics of Project E gathered around the lunch table as they took a break from repairing Unit One to eat (and therefore have less of a risk of losing their nametags).
“So… Wait…” One of the mechanics said, confusion in his tone as he had found something off about the biomechs as the others either ate or otherwise relaxed, “The Evangelions are inhabited by the soul of the pilot’s mother right?”
“Yeah.” Another replied, still reading his book, “So?”
“And the Entry Plug is rather phallic isn’t it?”
“You’re point being…?”
“When did Freud design our giant robots?!” the first replied, bewilderment in tone.
“…Is that why Unit One has toasters hidden in its pylons?”
“No, that was because we got drunk and thought it would be funny. And it still is.”
Himmlische Krieger Evangelion Chapter Two: That One Where the Bishonen Cameos
The repairs and repainting of the purple and green Evangelion had finished, with not a nametag lost. Clearly, either Gendo had gotten lazy in ruling NERV with an iron fist (of science, of course) or the mechanics of Project E had gotten better about repairing the mechs. Could very well be both, seeing as this is Gendo we’re talking about.
---
Shinji was aboard a train, just sitting there as he listened to music. Sitting next to him was a white haired red eyed, teen who couldn’t be much older then Shinji or Rei. Humming Ode to Joy to himself for a few minutes, the white haired boy mentioned something that the other didn’t really hear (or care) about something called the Retuning of the World or something.
Clearly the LCL from the Evangelion made Shinji’s dreams all soul-searchy and weird, or at very least made the infamous white haired pretty boy known as Kaworu Nagisa make cameos way before he should. Perhaps he should ask about the side effects of the Tang-tasting fluid when he awoke…
And just as suddenly as he fell unconscious after the battle with Sachiel, he awoke in a bed in NERV’s medical wing, finding Rei poking his arm with a pencil. “Stop it, Rei…” he said groggily, swatting the pencil away with his hand.
“So my little cousin isn’t in a coma!” the bluenette cheered, smiling wide and clapping.
“Clearly.” Shinji snarked in a moment uncharacteristic for him. “How long was I asleep?”
“Oh I’d say two, three days…” the girl said, “Kinda why I thought my favorite cousin was in a coma…”
“…I’m your only cousin.” Shinji replied, rubbing the sand out of his eyes.
“Which is why you’re my favorite!” Rei replied with another cheer, “It’s not exactly a hard position to win.” Plus, if he had any competition, Shinji knew he wouldn’t be the favorite cousin, if only because there’d be a massive chance that the other would be more like Rei. And that is to say, completely and utterly insane and a mad scientist.
“Riiiiiiight….” Shinji muttered, getting out of the bed. Rei, knowing when to take a hint left the Third Child to change into the fresh clothes that were beside his bed. A moment later, the brown haired boy walked out of the room to find his cousin waiting outside. “So… What now?” he pondered.
“We go see where you’ll live!” The energetic girl replied, grabbing Shinji by the wrist and taking him to the Geofront. Quietly, Shinji hoped that he wouldn’t end up living with his father and cousin again. He couldn’t take Rei’s mad science again, seeing as that was why he was sent to his aunt and uncle.
The two would find Fuyutsuki and the bridge bunnies just sitting there, reading monitors or reports.
“Let me guess…” Fuyutsuki sighed as he noticed the two teenagers came in, “You’re wondering where Shinji’s going to stay.”
Rei replied with an energetic “Yep!”
Fuyutsuki again sighed, “You’ll need to ask Gendo.”
“…Where is he anyway?” Shinji wondered. Tempting fate, this Ikari was.
A second later, a mad scientist’s laugh was heard as Gendo Ikari rose to Geofront in his steel chair via the elevator that took him directly to his office. This was a completely normal day in the Geofront. “I believe we need to settle where you will be staying, son.”
Shinji nodded, even though he nearly jumped back. “Y-yeah.”
“Well, Rei still has that singing plant she accidentally created…” Gendo said, noticing his son’s wince at the term ‘singing plant’, “So you might have to live on you-“
“This is Shinji we’re talking about, Uncle.” Rei interrupted in a flat tone. “He’d last like a day at max.” And the sad thing is that Shinji didn’t object to Rei’s remark. His luck tended to prevent things like having a normal life, even if he hadn’t been summoned to pilot the giant killer robot known as the Evangelion.
“You have a point, Rei…” Gendo sighed, now pondering where to send his son. ‘Hm… Perhaps Katsuragi would be able…”
Rei nodded at this suggestion. “I think Misato wouldn’t object…”
And so, a few hours of massive piles of paperwork later, it was agreed Shinji would be staying with Misato. Night came soon enough as well, with Misato taking Shinji to his new home.
Within seconds of the purple haired woman opening the door, Shinji overlooked the apartment. With beer cans, wrappers from instant noodles, and dishes, the teen wondered just how the hell somebody could live in a mess like this one. He’d have to ask when she got done changing.
“Well? What d’ya think of your new home, Shinji?” Misato asked with a festive cheer, coming out of her room. Well you know the saying, speak of the devil and he will appear…
“It’s nice… Messy,” And extremely so, as the teen had to fight the urge to immediately start cleaning, “but nice none the less.”
“Well, with my job at NERV, I really haven’t had the time to pick up honestly.” The woman replied as she grabbed a beer can from the fridge (Yabichu of course. This is an Evangelion fanfic after all). “Why don’t ya make something to eat?”
And of course, the young Ikari obliged, making himself a bowl of noodles. Moments passed as he and Misato ate (and in the case of Misato, got drunk), with the occasional table banter. Not that there was much to talk about, seeing as the majority of the two’s day had been consumed by paperwork. Though Misato did mention something about a red-haired, eye-patch wearing pilot in Germany, which Shinji for the most part zoned out on. He was sure this girl was nice and all, but he hadn’t eaten in three days so he really didn’t care at the time.
Shinji also hadn’t taken a shower in three days. And he went to rectify that, getting a towel and got to the bathroom to undress. A moment later, a screech was heard from the bathroom as Shinji came running out, his private area covered only by a towel, followed by a penguin that had a towel over its neck.
“WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?” Shinji shouted, painting heavily.
“Oh yeah…” Misato said, taking another sip of beer, “That’d be Pen-Pen. He’s your other roommate. Didn’t I tell you about him?”
And she did. Even if it was when Shinji had zoned out to eat, but still. “Uh yeah…” Shinji fumbled.
“…You zoned out didn’t you?”
A pause was held between the two as Pen-Pen went to his room, a small freezer in Misato’s room with a beer, because apparently penguin alcoholics exist. “…Yes.” Shinji admitted. And of course knowing his luck, the towel fell. Blushing, Shinji covered his shame and quietly walked back into the bathroom, dragging the towel with his foot. Misato, however, was laughing wildly.
A man typed at the keyboard of a computer at fast speeds in a dark room the lone view of the city behind him in the moon light, a boot screen coming up on the monitor.
WELCOME TO NERV’S HOME SEVER. PASSWORD PLEASE? The Automated MAGI Welcoming system greeted, as the man typed a password at the screen.
PASSWORD: CORRECT. WELCOME USER NUMBER 241141201519
Loading file… SEELE Meeting 6/7/99…
File loaded. Releasing SEELE Meeting 6/17/99.
The lone white background of the page had filled the room with light, as such the man smiled at the information found in the data logs.
“So that’s how they did it…”
Chapter One: Arrival of the Third Child
Shinji Ikari stood on the outskirts of Tokyo-2, sighing as he looked around. He just called the number his ride, a rather buxom woman named Misato, had left with him on the photo she sent only to get a disconnection noise on the payphone. Same city he grew up in with his father and cousin and, at one short point in his fifteen year life, his mother- or close enough anyway, what with Second Impact destroying the first Tokyo when he was one and then the past two replacements being destroyed. He blamed Godzilla. The sky has never seemed so… lifeless. The streets barren, not even a mouse. Sure the city was in ruins, but it made such a great tourist attraction.
‘Why?’ He asked himself, ‘Why the hell is this place so damn dead? Did zombies attack? Did I-’
Tank fire and the stomping of a giant, not too far off either. If Shinji wasn’t sent away last year to live with his Aunt and Uncle- hell if he weren’t an Ikari- he would have dropped into the fetal position. But his father was Gendo Ikari and mother Yui Ikari, so he’s damn sure he’s either a loon of a scientist or he’s going to be a badass with a chainsaw for hand. Could be both. Another noise, this time a the sound of a car swerving close by, closely followed by said car nearly flattening him, as two familiar faces opened the windows. One a purpled haired woman in a black dress uniform with the NERV emblem on the shoulder, the woman from the photo Misato, the other a blue haired teenage girl about a half-a-year older in a sailor fuku school uniform. And, for some bizarre reason, both wearing sunglasses.
Oh. Oh crap. It’s her.
“Cousin Shinji~!” the blue haired girl chirped as she tried to tackle hug him only to be restrained by the seatbelt, “It’s been liiiiiiiike forever!”
“H-hi, Rei.” He stuttered she was horrifyingly smart and followed the Great Rokobungi-Ikari-Ayanami Clan tradition: mad science. Shortly after exchanging greetings and getting in the car, he turned to Misato, who was focusing on getting as close to NERV HQ as possible with out breaking things such as ‘gravity’ and ‘the laws of physics’, “Miss Kisaragi? What’s going on? Why has Dad summoned me? And why is Rei allowed thirty feet around an Energon-Powered Honda while wearing sunglasses?!”
“First, call me Misato,” she replied happily as the car passed through the tunnel leading to the last highway to Tokyo-3, “Second, you know that stomping sound you heard?”
“Y-yeah.”
“Well, it-“
“IT’S A GIANT MONSTER CALLED AN ANGEL THAT WANTS TO EAT US! IT’S ALL LIKE ‘RAWR’ AND STUFF!” Rei interrupted, again energetic as humanly possible, if not more so.
“Riiiiight. Like Rei said.” Misato continued, “You see, there’s a way to fight these Angels is a giant mechanic fighter, The Himmslich Krieger! The Eva-“ She wasn’t paying attention to the road. As such, she hit a small tire break on her NERV-brand parking space, causing everyone to fall forward, except Rei, who ducked and rolled out of the car. This is par for Rei. Soon after Shinji and Misato fist fought the Airbag-Most-Foul to get out the car, now attempting to follow Rei into the Geofront. For the sake of the sanity of the readers, I shan’t reveal the events beyond the fact NERV now needs three new elevators and that air vents are now a force to be reckoned with.
“Hot damn…” Misato muttered as she sat down on the steps to the last escalator to the last hallway, Rei already being in the upcoming room with Ritsuko, “That girl is fast, isn’t she?”
Shinji took a sip of the bottle of NERV-brand water he got from a vending machine, “Yeah... You get used to it. You should’ve seen her back when we were in grade school.”
“…S-she was worse?!” Misato replied, the sound of shock and horror in her voice. She stood up as soon as she noticed the stairs feeding into the hallway.
“So that’s why the Commander is so... eccentric… “ a woman replied to Rei in a not so far off room.
“It’s always having a mad scientist older sister isn’t it?” Rei said as Misato showed Shinji into the dimly lit room.
The woman turned to the duo showing a blonde haired head with a towel hanging over her shoulders, “So that’s the Commander’s son and the new pilot, eh?” she asked Misato.
“That’d be the one, Ritsky!” Misato chirped in reply, “Shinji, this is the head of NERV’s Science division: Doctor Ritsuko Akagi.”
“Hello.” Shinji told the woman, still rather shy. “Why did my father summon me again? Something about some Himmslich Krieger, whatever the hell that means?”
At hearing the words Himmslich Krieger, Ritsuko elbowed Misato before whispering something too low for Shinji to hear.
“I think I can answer that, Shinji.” A voice replied as the lights brightened, revealing the towering head of a purple-and-green horned giant staring at Shinji.
“OHMYGODWHATTHEHELLISTHAT?!” Shinji yelled as he jumped back in fear, landing on his back. Rei and the others by now were used to that, barely concealing laughter.
“That,” the voice replied, “is the Himmslich Krieger Evangelion. Unit 01, to be exact. We want you to pilot it.”
“WHY?! AND JUST WHO ARE YOU!?”
The voiced sighed, stepping forward into the light to reveal himself as Deputy Commander Kozo Fuyutsuki, “I thought you would have recognized your godfather’s voice… But that is not the point.” He mumbled to himself before continuing his speech, “You’re the only one who can fight the Angel.”
“B-but I can’t! And where’s my father?!”
“He’s currently working on fixi-“ Kozo started, only to interrupted and ducking when he heard the sound of glass breaking behind him. A steel claw on a rope hung itself around a Super Alloy Z pipe from the window and man in white lab coat flew by holding on to the rope, landing on the shoulder of the Evangelion.
“ANOTHER TRIUMPH FOR SCIENCE!” the man yelled, striking his fist in the air as the light shun on his sunglasses. Rei clapped at the dynamic entrance.
“…Dad? What’s going on?! Why did you take so long!?” Shinji asked, shocked.
“Son!” Gendo replied, “I heard you were chosen to pilot the giant robot so I came to see you start!“
“…What?!” Shinji replied.
“Son, you see at your age you might be noticing that you have... feelings for the opposite sex.” Gendo explained, inducing chuckles from all but Fuyutsuki, who merely sighed, “and nothing impresses them more then Super-Toast! They also dig giant robots!”
Shinji thought to himself for a moment, rubbing his chin. Does he pilot the giant robot and therefore gets attention from women? Or does he flee for the safety of his own skin? Chicks… Safety… You could see his dilemma.
“I’m in.”
A short five minutes passed as Shinji was lifted into the Entry Plugs’ piloting seat after his father returned to his normal sitting area from the smokestack, having large amounts of techno-babble told to him by Doctor Akagi and was asked by her to put in these strange hair pieces before it was followed by more techno-babble, which he continued to zone out on.
“Okay,” Shinji announced as he looked around the interior of the Entry Plug, before an orange liquid filled the area causing Shinji to panic and hold his breath.
“Relax,” Ritsuko said as a small window on the center screen of the Entry Plug appeared in front of his eyes, “LCL is oxidized. You won’t drown.”
As soon as he heard ‘won’t’ and ‘drown’, Shinji released a large gasp of air. After he caught his breath, he tasted the fluid as the Eva launched from the Geofront into Tokyo-3.
“…Why does it taste like Tang?”
Rei shouted over Ritsuko’s shoulder, “Sorry about that.
“Angel is approaching!” a woman’s voiced shouted over both his cousin and the doctor.
“Approximate time of arrival to Tokyo-3 is ten minutes!” a male continued.
“You got that, kid? Try walking but don’t move your legs.” Ritsuko asked, pushing Rei away from the screen.
“Yes, ma’am.” Shinji replied, willing the mechanical giant’s leg to move forward. …only for it to fall on its face. Today isn’t the kid’s day.
Moaning briefly in pain do to this ‘synch rate’ that Ritsuko talked about, Shinji both willed the Evangelion to get up, which it did, and learned what the sync-rate was. He saw the Angel walk before the mecha, its inky black form housing a red ball in its torso in a horrible parody of the human form with thin, long, clawed arms and two bird masks as its face.
Gendo saw the Angel on the Geofront’s large screen, standing up from his desk’s chair.
“This is now to be called Sachel, the Fourth Angel! Himmslich Krieger Evangelion… MOVE OUT!”
Sachiel turns to notice the Eva, as if to say hello. Shinji prepped himself for the battle that was about to begin, slightly flinching.
Sachiel walked at a fast pace, tackling the mecha. In response, the Evangelion punched the Angel in the cracked mask. Reacting after a brief shock, the creature grabbed Unit 01’s arm, slapping the mechanic titan with it’s own arm before throwing the mecha over it’s shoulder to which the mech landed on it’s back.
“Damn it!” Shinji yelled, as the power cord to the mech dislodged from its back from impact and a timer counting down from five minutes popped up on screen. The Eva climbed back up, undeterred, and ran towards the Angel before jumping up in the air to dropkick it. Dodging just enough for 01 to miss its core, but not enough to have its left shoulder to be smashed, Sachiel grabbed the other leg of it’s counterpart, only to meet a punch to the shins. Dropping 01, Sachiel tackled the mecha again this time with its two three point claws pinning the mecha’s arms down as it kicked it in the stomach.
3 minutes left.
Shinji grunted, feeling the pain. “Ouch.”
He willed the Evangelion to head butt the Angel in the un-cracked face, which triggered Sachiel to stumble a moment, and then the Angel he kneed with the Eva’s kneeguard in the lower torso. Fazed, Sachiel rolled onto its back, seeing the Evangelion stomping on its core before exploding into a blue liquid the covered the city. Shinji thought to himself, If LCL tastes like Tang, does that taste like Kool-Aid? This was shortly before he passed out.
---Geofront---
The Evangelion was retrieved from the city, with Shinji placed in a hospital bed as soon as he was retrieved for rest, covered in the liquid as multiple teams were trying to clean it, replace the broken parts, and most importantly, to repair it’s chipped paint, lest they loose nametag rights.
---Office of Dr. Ritsuko Akagi---
“Incredible!” Ritsuko thought out loud while reading paperwork from Shinji’s battle, as her assistant Maya walked in with two cans of coffee.
“What is it?” she asked the doctor.
Ritsuko gave her assistant the papers as she grabbed a can of coffee, “Look at his Sync-rate, it’s pretty high even without a Plug Suit.” She said, as Maya thumbed though the papers.
Ch. 2 (As finished as I copy as I have, I purged the back up and the fanfiction account I used)
The mechanics of Project E gathered around the lunch table as they took a break from repairing Unit One to eat (and therefore have less of a risk of losing their nametags).
“So… Wait…” One of the mechanics said, confusion in his tone as he had found something off about the biomechs as the others either ate or otherwise relaxed, “The Evangelions are inhabited by the soul of the pilot’s mother right?”
“Yeah.” Another replied, still reading his book, “So?”
“And the Entry Plug is rather phallic isn’t it?”
“You’re point being…?”
“When did Freud design our giant robots?!” the first replied, bewilderment in tone.
“…Is that why Unit One has toasters hidden in its pylons?”
“No, that was because we got drunk and thought it would be funny. And it still is.”
Himmlische Krieger Evangelion Chapter Two: That One Where the Bishonen Cameos
The repairs and repainting of the purple and green Evangelion had finished, with not a nametag lost. Clearly, either Gendo had gotten lazy in ruling NERV with an iron fist (of science, of course) or the mechanics of Project E had gotten better about repairing the mechs. Could very well be both, seeing as this is Gendo we’re talking about.
---
Shinji was aboard a train, just sitting there as he listened to music. Sitting next to him was a white haired red eyed, teen who couldn’t be much older then Shinji or Rei. Humming Ode to Joy to himself for a few minutes, the white haired boy mentioned something that the other didn’t really hear (or care) about something called the Retuning of the World or something.
Clearly the LCL from the Evangelion made Shinji’s dreams all soul-searchy and weird, or at very least made the infamous white haired pretty boy known as Kaworu Nagisa make cameos way before he should. Perhaps he should ask about the side effects of the Tang-tasting fluid when he awoke…
And just as suddenly as he fell unconscious after the battle with Sachiel, he awoke in a bed in NERV’s medical wing, finding Rei poking his arm with a pencil. “Stop it, Rei…” he said groggily, swatting the pencil away with his hand.
“So my little cousin isn’t in a coma!” the bluenette cheered, smiling wide and clapping.
“Clearly.” Shinji snarked in a moment uncharacteristic for him. “How long was I asleep?”
“Oh I’d say two, three days…” the girl said, “Kinda why I thought my favorite cousin was in a coma…”
“…I’m your only cousin.” Shinji replied, rubbing the sand out of his eyes.
“Which is why you’re my favorite!” Rei replied with another cheer, “It’s not exactly a hard position to win.” Plus, if he had any competition, Shinji knew he wouldn’t be the favorite cousin, if only because there’d be a massive chance that the other would be more like Rei. And that is to say, completely and utterly insane and a mad scientist.
“Riiiiiiight….” Shinji muttered, getting out of the bed. Rei, knowing when to take a hint left the Third Child to change into the fresh clothes that were beside his bed. A moment later, the brown haired boy walked out of the room to find his cousin waiting outside. “So… What now?” he pondered.
“We go see where you’ll live!” The energetic girl replied, grabbing Shinji by the wrist and taking him to the Geofront. Quietly, Shinji hoped that he wouldn’t end up living with his father and cousin again. He couldn’t take Rei’s mad science again, seeing as that was why he was sent to his aunt and uncle.
The two would find Fuyutsuki and the bridge bunnies just sitting there, reading monitors or reports.
“Let me guess…” Fuyutsuki sighed as he noticed the two teenagers came in, “You’re wondering where Shinji’s going to stay.”
Rei replied with an energetic “Yep!”
Fuyutsuki again sighed, “You’ll need to ask Gendo.”
“…Where is he anyway?” Shinji wondered. Tempting fate, this Ikari was.
A second later, a mad scientist’s laugh was heard as Gendo Ikari rose to Geofront in his steel chair via the elevator that took him directly to his office. This was a completely normal day in the Geofront. “I believe we need to settle where you will be staying, son.”
Shinji nodded, even though he nearly jumped back. “Y-yeah.”
“Well, Rei still has that singing plant she accidentally created…” Gendo said, noticing his son’s wince at the term ‘singing plant’, “So you might have to live on you-“
“This is Shinji we’re talking about, Uncle.” Rei interrupted in a flat tone. “He’d last like a day at max.” And the sad thing is that Shinji didn’t object to Rei’s remark. His luck tended to prevent things like having a normal life, even if he hadn’t been summoned to pilot the giant killer robot known as the Evangelion.
“You have a point, Rei…” Gendo sighed, now pondering where to send his son. ‘Hm… Perhaps Katsuragi would be able…”
Rei nodded at this suggestion. “I think Misato wouldn’t object…”
And so, a few hours of massive piles of paperwork later, it was agreed Shinji would be staying with Misato. Night came soon enough as well, with Misato taking Shinji to his new home.
Within seconds of the purple haired woman opening the door, Shinji overlooked the apartment. With beer cans, wrappers from instant noodles, and dishes, the teen wondered just how the hell somebody could live in a mess like this one. He’d have to ask when she got done changing.
“Well? What d’ya think of your new home, Shinji?” Misato asked with a festive cheer, coming out of her room. Well you know the saying, speak of the devil and he will appear…
“It’s nice… Messy,” And extremely so, as the teen had to fight the urge to immediately start cleaning, “but nice none the less.”
“Well, with my job at NERV, I really haven’t had the time to pick up honestly.” The woman replied as she grabbed a beer can from the fridge (Yabichu of course. This is an Evangelion fanfic after all). “Why don’t ya make something to eat?”
And of course, the young Ikari obliged, making himself a bowl of noodles. Moments passed as he and Misato ate (and in the case of Misato, got drunk), with the occasional table banter. Not that there was much to talk about, seeing as the majority of the two’s day had been consumed by paperwork. Though Misato did mention something about a red-haired, eye-patch wearing pilot in Germany, which Shinji for the most part zoned out on. He was sure this girl was nice and all, but he hadn’t eaten in three days so he really didn’t care at the time.
Shinji also hadn’t taken a shower in three days. And he went to rectify that, getting a towel and got to the bathroom to undress. A moment later, a screech was heard from the bathroom as Shinji came running out, his private area covered only by a towel, followed by a penguin that had a towel over its neck.
“WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?” Shinji shouted, painting heavily.
“Oh yeah…” Misato said, taking another sip of beer, “That’d be Pen-Pen. He’s your other roommate. Didn’t I tell you about him?”
And she did. Even if it was when Shinji had zoned out to eat, but still. “Uh yeah…” Shinji fumbled.
“…You zoned out didn’t you?”
A pause was held between the two as Pen-Pen went to his room, a small freezer in Misato’s room with a beer, because apparently penguin alcoholics exist. “…Yes.” Shinji admitted. And of course knowing his luck, the towel fell. Blushing, Shinji covered his shame and quietly walked back into the bathroom, dragging the towel with his foot. Misato, however, was laughing wildly.
